Thursday, January 14, 2010

I know, I'm crazy

It seems like I was happy to find out I was pregnant. Maybe it was a façade to trick myself into believing it. This pregnancy was definitely a surprise, but I at least thought I was happy about it. But now at 5 months, I really just hate it. Not the baby, the pregnancy. Everywhere in my body hurts. Yes, even there. I take antidepressants just to make it through the day and still, I feel more like I'm carrying a burden than the joy so many other women feel during this time. I just want it to be over and done with. Over and done with so I can start going crazy during midnight feedings and endless nights without sleep and too many tears to count. Why the hell am I doing this again?

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